Transitions

If you follow this blog even kind of regularly, you know that I rarely use it as a platform for extensive writing.  But I felt compelled to share my story about going from a full-time working mother to a full-time stay-at-home mother, and back again.  So if you are just here to check out new pictures of the girls, blow on by this post.  

Going back to work was hard.  Please, don’t get me wrong.  But it was also the easiest thing I have ever done.  Contradictory?  Yes.  But allow me to explain:

When I had my babies, I really enjoyed my maternity leave with both of them.  I had the conversation fairly often with Sean that I really wanted to be able to stay home full-time at some point, but we both knew when we decided to have children that financially we were still years away from being where we needed to be for me to stay home and for us to remain comfortable money-wise.  So, knowing that there was a “someday” out there, I was able to go back to work from both of my maternity leaves with a smile on my face (even if there were tears in my eyes). 

Fast forward to March 2014.  I was not happy in my work situation (not a good fit for me).  I had been tossing around the idea with Sean about quitting my job to become an independent HR consultant.  I felt like the timing was right since we had recently downsized our house payment, and Sean agreed that it would be fine to try, but warned me that we only had 6 months worth of savings that would allow me to make NO money.  I excitedly quit my job, feeling confident that I would be securing contracts within a few months, and we wouldn’t have to worry about that 6 month deadline.  Another reason I was so excited for this entrepreneurial adventure?  I was going to be able to spend a lot more time with the girls!

I hit the ground running with my business—I created the LLC, I set up a website and ordered the business cards, and I joined the Chamber of Commerce and started attending every networking event possible.  I had a few “high potential” clients in mind before I even quit my job, and I started having meetings with them.  Part of quitting my job meant the girls quit daycare, but I was fine with that because Sean could watch them when I went to meetings and events since he had a rotating schedule.  But most of the time, I was with them.  And by most of the time, I mean that quickly turned into all of the time.  I love my girls dearly, but I discovered that my patience level wasn’t as high as I thought—and I never was that confident about my patience level anyway! 

One way I tried to alleviate the tension was to have learning time with Elise while Erin napped.  She was about to start kindergarten, and I wanted to continue to build on the great foundation she had received at preschool and daycare.  This was usually a treasured time for me, because she was easily distracted by the activity, but I wasn’t feeling guilty about her having too much TV time, so I got some of the chores done. 

Speaking of chores: do you know how hard it is to keep a house clean when 3 of you are there ALL. THE. TIME?  And a 4^th one (Sean) is there 2/3 of the time?  I would clean one area of the house, only to move on to another area that was completely trashed.  When I walked back through the previously clean area, the girls would have destroyed it.  It was never ending.  It was exhausting.  And as I hit a brick wall in my business, I was also feeling trapped at home.

When Sean and I finally had to sit down and have the talk in August about finances and what we were going to do after October hit, I wasn’t even that upset about searching for jobs.  I felt disappointed that I hadn’t been able to make my business work (turns out I am great at HR but terrible at sales) and sad that I wasn’t going to be able to do some of the things I’d enjoyed doing with the girls when I was home, sure.  While we fussed with each other a lot, we also had a good time walking to the park, playing in the yard, and doing art projects.  But I was also relieved to imagine the budget constraints being lifted, and to have some much-needed adult time on a regular basis. 

When I accepted the offer for my new job, I felt like I finally had the perfect fit.  It was a full time job, but it afforded me a lot of paid time off with holidays and vacation.  I was going to be able to continue to work in a career I love, but also spend more quality time with my children than I had been able to in my previous jobs.  It seemed like answered prayers.  And honestly, so far, it really was. 

But as with all things in life, it sometimes seems, this gift came at a price.  This time, going back to work was a much bigger adjustment than after either of my maternity leaves.  For one, I had spent SIX MONTHS at home with the girls, not just 8-12 weeks.  They were older.  They actually understood that I wasn’t going to be around as much.  Erin was especially upset by this because, at not quite 2 ½, she simply didn’t remember a time when I wasn’t home with her.  The week before I started my new job, we did a “trial run” at daycare by taking her 3 half-days.  She bawled each time I dropped her off, and I struggled to hold myself together each of those days, too.  But again, as with most things in life, once she got used to the situation, she adjusted.  By mid-week of my first week back to work, she didn’t even bat an eye when I dropped her off and ran straight in to play.

I guess the point of this rambling (aside from documenting a very interesting point in our family's history) is this: being a mom is tough.  When you're working full-time, you miss your kids terribly and think constantly of things you might be missing out on with them.  When you're staying home with your kids, you dream of a time when you will again be able to be productive in a career and actually have disposable income and won't have to tell your kiddos they can't do the activities they want to because you don't have enough money.  I share this story mainly to tell my sweet friends (both the stay-at-home and working mothers) that I applaud your efforts.  I, for one, am happy to be back in the working world--even if I am missing my girls during any lull in the day. 

Thanks for sticking out this blog post with me--I promise I'll be back to posting cute pictures of my kiddos in no time!

Stevens Family Reunion

 A picture of a picture rarely looks that great, but it is what it is!  This is my Pop, (second from left) with his brothers and sisters.  From their parents, Homer and Sada Stevens, there are 110 descendents.  When I was growing up, we used to get together with the whole family at least every few years or so.  I have wonderful memories of playing with all of my cousins.  Often, we'd camp out one or two nights when we all got together, so we got to spend plenty of time with one another.  A couple of years ago, I ran into my cousin Drew, and he said that we should put a reunion together.  Yes, that was a COUPLE of years ago that we had that conversation.  But it took me that long to actually get the ball rolling!

Flash forward to this summer, when I finally decided to set a date.  In talking with my grandparents, we decided fall would be the best time to try to get everyone together.  I called up my Aunt Lori, who has an event place, and asked if she had any good dates.  Luck of the draw settled us on October 25.  

We had 68 (or so--the crowd was moving, so it was hard to get a count sometimes) that were able to make it.  I was very happy with the turnout.  I had help from all the matriarchs of the families gathering addresses for the invitations, getting the "save the date" word out, and then preparing food for the big day.  I think it all turned out pretty well! 

 Nanny with her three youngest great-grandbabies.

 The next generation of kiddos (the great-great-grandchildren of Sada and Homer Stevens) had a fun time riding around!

The siblings on October 25th.  

I found this quote and printed it on the invitations: "Like branches on a tree, our lives my grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one."  I was so thankful for an opportunity to get together with my family once again, and look forward to making the reunion a more regular thing again!

Family Fun Night

 Last week Elise's school had family fun night.  They had all sorts of fun activities for the kiddos, plus dinner (hot dogs, chips, and drink) was free!  Elise had been looking forward to it all week, especially since she missed the last carnival (homecoming) because she was sick.

 The girls were able to decorate their own trick-or-treat bags.  Erin already broke hers. 

 There was face painting!  I didn't even bother trying to get Erin's done because a) she wasn't that interested and b) she would've never sat still for the length of time it would take to get painted!

 Pin the boo on the ghost was a fun game.

BIG THANKS to MawMaw and PawPaw for going along and helping me with the girls.  I am certain I wouldn't have been able to handle it on my own!

Elise and Daddy Camping Trip

 Elise and Daddy went on an overnight camping trip at Daddy's family's land in Buffalo.  They had a really good time together.

 It was just turning cooler, and I hadn't had a chance to get Elise sweatshirts that fit her yet, so she borrowed one from me.

 They hiked around a bit, and Elise took charge of the camera.  I'll spare you the other 40 pictures of trees, and only share a few here.

 Daddy said she wanted to take a picture of where she was sleeping.

They had a great time camping together!  Next year, Miss Erin will be big enough to join in on the fun!

This and That

 There hasn't been a whole lot to report from the Jackson house lately.  We've been in the school routine, and haven't done much else otherwise.  We have been lucky enough to have lots of babies hang out with us, though.  Bowen came to play with us today.  Elise is used to holding little babies like Owen and Gage, but Bowen is 6 months old, and was twice their size!

 Erin brought Bowen a million toys, then promptly got out her baby doll and showed him how a baby is supposed to behave.

 Elise started back to gymnastics the first of October.  We didn't have a great run with gymnastics her first time around a few years ago, so we switched her to dance.  When it came time to pick a class again, she decided to give gymnastics another whirl.  She's a lot more patient with trying to learn this time, and she's not so timid to try new things.  So far, so good! 

 Elise got her Kindergarten pics back a few weeks ago.  They turned out pretty good.  She told me they took pictures right after recess (of course), which is why her hair was a little messed up, but they were cute.

 In other Kindergarten news, we found this awesome picture Elise drew in a book in her classroom while we were at Parent/Teacher Conferences.  The kid is so detailed.  Do you see Grandpa Jackson watching TV in his chair next to the side table with the lamp?  Do you see the mixer on the counter and Elise's step-stool?  Do you see Grandma Jackson's curly hair?  She's definitely good at drawing pictures--going to be an artist like her Daddy!

 Legos are a big deal at our house.  A while back, Daddy found all his old legos, and Elise decided she wanted to combine her legos with Daddy's.  They get them all out quite often and go to town with building.  Erin likes to sit with them for a while, but she doesn't have the attention span for building much.  Elise and Daddy have built some neat cars and houses.

 Mammy got these jammies for Erin a few weeks ago.  She calls them her "Mammy Jammies" and when she first got them, she insisted that she wanted to wear them every night, so I was doing a lot of laundry!  She loves footie pajamas and is pretty good at putting them on herself. 

Jessie went back to school this week, so we haven't got to see as much of her and Owen as we had been used to--Erin has asked about him several times this week!  We got to babysit him last Friday while Jessie got things ready to go back, and Elise was glad she had a day off school so she could cuddle with him.  What a difference three months (between Owen and Bowen) makes in size with babies!

Camera Roll

Erin wanted to let me know that the tupperware cabinet needed to be reorganized.  Duly noted, child.

 Elise said "you should take a picture of us getting along."  Good point.  It happens less frequently these days.

 I don't do it very often because I hate to clean up the mess, but I can build an epic tent.  Ask these yahoos.

Something I didn't know about Elise going to Kindergarten: we go to a LOT more birthday parties these days.  This was Jake's party at Doling Park Aquatic Center.

Elise is a Kindergartener!

 I loved this!  At Orientation, we were given a "Me Bag" that Elise was supposed to fill with things to help her class get to know her.  She picked a Barbie (because she likes to play with Barbies), a Bookmark (because she likes to read AND it was from church), a jewel and shell from the tree fairy (because she loves the tree fairy and likes to collect shells), her work gloves (because she likes to work with Daddy), and a picture of her family.  The only suggestions we made were the picture of her family and the bookmark.  Everything else she came up with on her own!

 The big day arrived on 8/13/14.  I went to Hobby Lobby to get a chalk board for an idea I saw on Pinterest.  I was apparently not the only parent with this idea because this was the smallest one I could find.  But it was adorable, and it was 50% off, so I decided I'd get it and we could hang it in Elise's room as a "Yay for Starting Kindergarten" present.  She has drawn on it every day since!

 Elise was so excited she could hardly stand it (as you can tell in this picture)--she was struggling to sit still for pictures!  Luckily for me, she humored me all morning and didn't complain at all!

Erin wanted a bag like Elise, so she grabbed her purse!

 

 

Elise looked so tiny getting on that big bus with her big bag!

The Kindergartener at her desk!

 I think out of all of us, Erin was the only one who really struggled with Elise going to Kindergarten.  She wanted to do everything Elise was doing, and she was so upset when Elise got on the bus that she cried all the way back to the house. 

 I think that once we got to school and she saw that Elise made it there okay, she felt better about the whole big bad bus thing.  She does ask multiple times a day where Elise is, though--so I know she misses her!

It was looking like Daddy wasn't going to make it to the first day of school.  He had to work at the fire station the night before, and that meant he worked until 7am.  However, he can't leave until his relief gets there and the guy that was supposed to relieve him called in sick.  So he had to wait until they found someone else to cover.  Luckily, the first day of school didn't run on time, so he was able to make it at the very last minute to wish Elise a good first day!  He was also able to pick her up!

Overall, Elise loves Kindergarten.  She's got three days under her belt now.  A funny story from her first week: when asked on the first day if she made any friends, she said she made one.  Sean asked what the friend's name was and Elise said that she didn't remember, so she just called him "Hey."  When Sean asked if she made any other friends, she said "I'm working on it."  She gave us the same answer yesterday and today.  But she did remember one friend's name yesterday!

It's still hard to believe that we have a kindergartener, but she sure was ready to be one!